Imperfections

I painted this picture almost 35 years ago, in 1990 (acrylic on masonite), while living a former life under a different name. It’s quite large — 24” by 36”. I didn’t have enough wall space to hang it. My son, Lochlin, is obsessed with music and all things musical, so I gifted the painting to him. He didn’t have much space either, but still, he found a spot for it. You’ve got to love family loyalty.  

Imperfections

If I remember correctly, I came across a reference photo in a magazine, and at the time, I thought it captured Ray Charles perfectly, so I used it for my composition. But, to be honest, I was unhappy with certain aspects of my painting. Spent hours and hours on his hands. Hands are really tough. The right hand still looks slightly deformed. Thank god he was wearing shoes, so I didn’t have to worry about toe knuckles. 

There are many imperfections in this artwork. The piano seems to be floating in the air. The stool is too squat. Ray’s torso is skinny and his head, enormous. The lighting doesn’t quite add up somehow. But, if I’d created a perfect rendering, this picture would, no doubt, be sitting downstairs in my storage locker, abandoned with many, many others under a pile of insignificant memorabilia. Could the flaws be part of its charm? 

Wabi-Sabi

The Japanese have a word for this — wabi-sabi. It’s an ancient term that’s linked to Zen Buddhism, and loosley translated, speaks to the practice of finding beauty in imperfection.

Today, when I zoom out and look at this photograph of my painting, I think it’s possible that I did capture the essence of Ray Charles. The way he seems to be laughing at a personal joke, enjoying the rich inner life that must bless a musician like him, who, against incredible odds, forged himself a stellar career. But perhaps I’m only fooling myself. Maybe my tendency toward self criticism has simply softened over the years.

 In today’s western world that pressures everyone and everything and every moment of our existence to be perfect, I think we might just take a lesson from the Japanese and try to embrace the wabi-sabi in our lives.